The difference between "Wanting it" and Wanting it

Who knew there could be two different forms of  'wanting' to losing weight. I had always thought if you told yourself that you wanted to lose weight then you would be able to work hard and losing the weight would be super easy. The fact is that it is not true. If you want to lose weight then you yourself have to actually want it with everything that you have in you. Believing in yourself and in your goal is what it takes to make to your goal plausible. It sounds crazy maybe even unbelievable but, it is true that you have to believe wholesomely that you want to become fit, be healthy, and feel great. Believing wholesomely is the key to being successful.

I will admit that I have been down the fitness road more times than I would like to say. I have tried over the years to find the motivation to lose weight and get healthy but to no end I would always fall off of the path in some form. I would start hardcore working out for a couple days then two days in would stop. I could not figure out why I would lose my way or what could be done to fix the problem. I would try everything to fix what I was doing wrong but, little did I know that what I was doing wrong was forcing myself to lose weight versus actually wanting to lose weight. This realization was what changed everything for me. It was like a key to the door that has been locked all these years.

It was time for me to get real about this. I knew that no matter what that I was sure I wanted to keep my son from suffering the same fate as me. The only way to do prevent this was to set an example. Another issue I knew I was tired of was living day to day in pain because of the prison that I called my body. It was sinking me into a sadden mood everyday more and more as time went on. I was slowly slipping into a "This will never happen. Why even try?" sense of things. Instead, I told myself, "Do you really want to live the rest of your life like this? Do you not ever want to feel amazing when you wake up in the morning?". There was no arguing because I knew that I didn't want to live this way any longer that I had to move on from my repetitive unhealthy life. It was destroying me and it had to be done with.

I decided that I had to get my family involved if I was going to be able to achieve my goals. I had always kept losing weight and 'dieting' to myself before this moment which had caused a great deal of failure. I sat down and spoke about how I was going to make small changes to start out my new healthy lifestyle. My family were suppose to get me Subway instead of the McDonald's if they were to pick that up. My family has a tendency to pick up fountain drinks from the corner store also. So, I decided to tell them to get me coke zero instead of my normal Coke since my store recently started offering it. Now, these may seem like small changes to you but, growing up and living on junk food my entire life it was a hard task in my eyes. Everyone has to approach their goal in a their own way which can greatly differ. I knew that this would be the key for me to move forward on my path to being healthy. The funny thing is that I had tried this before but little did I know at the time that I didn't really want it and fell off the path pretty easily. This time though it seemed so much easier for me to do. That is strange, correct? Actually, it is not really that strange. When you want something extremely bad then, it becomes easy to do.

When you question yourself you can find out your real motives behind wanting to lose weight.  Is this just because you feel like you have to lose weight to make others happy or are you doing it for your health and yourself. Once you realize who or what you are doing this for then, you will be able to realign yourself with a more positive way of wanting it. Once I was able to do that then, I realized the weight has started to slowly fall off with ease. First it was one pound then two then three. Now, I am doing it with ease and it overjoys me. I know that you will be able to do it too. If you feel like you keep falling off then, take a deep look and do it for you and your health. You can do it! Keep the hard work!

Credits:  All photos credits go directly to their rightful photographers. I did not take these photos nor do I own them.

The Food War

I wake up and fight the war daily. A strong battle between my brain whether I am hungry or not rages on. Can I tell if this time real am I really hungry or is it another fake out by my brain and emotions? I have fight with this every time I start to try to adjust my health and in the end I always give up. There is a difference this time though. I am not "depriving" myself this time. Although, it should be noted I never starved myself. I did the calorie deflect that you would normally do. When you do this cold turkey it can be hard to handle. I decided to not go at a deflect this but instead with healthier choices first. You think I would be fine, Right? Well, I still find myself at points like tonight where the battle of good or not occurs. I lost my small battle tonight against myself over where the enemy stuff me way past my full point even though at the start I knew I wasn't hungry.

I gave into the feeling of wanting that comfort that I wasn't feeling at the time. All of the junk food I use to have gave me a relaxed and happy feeling. I didn't want to fight this war. I wanted a familiar comforting taste of pizza sticks even if it meant stomach pains and no comfort body wise. Why was my army so weak at this point? I knew I would need to build them up if they are going to stand a chance but first baby steps no one can fight a war overnight. I mean rome wasn't built in a day either. I have to give myself time to adjust to all of these changes.

So, tonight I was surfing the net and watching television and to be honest it was a pretty altogether normal night. Anyways, somethings happened around my place and once again my stress level sore up as I was trying to fix them. The instant thought popped into my head, "Man, Some pizza would be oh so good right now!". The fact that knew that I shouldn't be wanting this and that it would make me feel horrible. I tried to talk myself out it as I sat there and told myself, "No, you don't need. You should grab a banana instead.". The war of my brain commences in the a fury of words back and forth. I just could not decide what I wanted. Did I want that unhealthy pizza or did I want the nutritious banana. I knew with every single bit of me that I was indeed full from over stuffing myself at dinner with stuff and that I didn't need it. Dinner was another war separately by it's self. Anyways, let all of us skip to the point.

 In the end, the war was lost and a pizza was devoured in a heartbeat. I was eating slowly and as I took every bite slowly out of the pizza I knew I didn't want to eat it yet no matter what the pizza would enter my mouth once again to be eaten. I know I am going to lose many other battles no matter what they are because no one is perfect and you don't win every battle you come upon. Although, If this was before I am going to be completely honest with you all. I would have gave up trying and just have gone back to my old ways but I am trying my hardest to make small changes toward making this a lifestyle and not another diet.

When I started eating healthy I noticed that I have started waking up in a better mood and have had a better mood altogether. I love that feeling. Well, tonight when I was eating really bad I started feeling horrible and my mood changed to "grumpy". I did not want to be around anyone or anything that moved that could chance annoying me. This feeling made me come to the realization that it will be easy for me to focus on getting back to that point. It doesn't matter if I make a mistake there is always another day and I can fix those mistakes that were made. I learned that if I keep telling myself, "You messed up. You need to give up.". Well, I will get no where now will I? If you hit a bump in the war of food versus you just remember that you can smooth out that bump and work on putting all of them behind you never to be seen again. Would you not like to wake up feeling really good and full of energy? Now, I know the answer to that is yes. If you focus on that feeling you are craving then you are more likely to overcome it. Just remember that you are able to do it no matter what and that someday food will not have control over you. Keep your head up.

Credits:  All photos credits go directly to their rightful photographers. I did not take these photos nor do I own them.

The New Girl in the Gym

You know that feeling. You haven't exercised since you saw the inside of the high school gym. You are only just entering the real "gym" that you signed up to. You worry about what others will think. Will they know I am a newbie? Will the wonder why I don't know how to use the equipment? We have all been there and worried about what our gym journey will reward us with. I had only been to a gym once before with a friend who showed me how to work the equipment. This was a completely new gym and I was all alone. It was wide open space not sectioned off like the old one. What was I going to do?

I walked in to the new gym and it hit me everyone could see me no matter what machine I was on. I did not want to look like a newbie who didn't know what do. So I played it off and moved to a new machine when I couldn't figure out why the machine I was on wouldn't turn on and work. I thought to myself, "What do I have to do to turn it on?". I decided that I would go to the one machine that I knew how to work. The treadmill became my best friend that first day. I would walk for a long time on it and observe around me how others were turning on the machines. I would scan then room noting in my head, "Okay, I start moving on it and it lights up."

I had figured out this encrypted code that a newbie like me didn't know. The machines here were self powered which means you had to peddle on the bike or start walking on the elliptical to make the lights and machines come on to track miles and etc. The machines my friend had shown me at the old one were always on and just press a button and go. I then decided to take the the big leap and try a new machine out. I walked over the ellipticals and got on one that was in the very back row where no one could see me. I stepped up onto it and started peddling. I learned something that day. Every gym is different with their equipment. My old gym elliptical didn't lift my knees as high as this one. I felt like I was exerting myself twice as much I did in the past. I figured out that I wouldn't want to use this as a warm-up or when I had knee pains. I decided I would walk on the treadmill for the majority of the workouts. I took notes and learned what would work for me. I then walked over to the bikes and sat down on a recumbent bike. I peddled my heart out and got a good sweat working out on it. I was pleased I had figured it out.  I knew how to work all the cardio machines. Well, except the row machine but, that is to come. Wooo Objective 1 is complete!

My next task was probably the most awkward. I had to figure out the weight machines. Those intimidating things that you see mostly fit people using. I walked around the weights area looking for the first machine I wanted to learn. Do I want to try the one I lay on my stomach? Do I want to use my body weight? Do I want to just want to try the pull down bar? I couldn't decide. It took a good while walking around to decide on two machines to try for the day. I can't tell you the exact names as I don't remember them but I ended up using a machine for the shoulders and I believe it is a called a leg press. This was definitely going to be interesting.

I sat down on the shoulder machine look at the weights I could set it to and wondered what I should set it to. I did the only thing I could think of and started at 5lbs and slowly went upwards by 5lbs. I kept going up til it felt that I was just throwing the machine handles forward. I sat there and did 5 reps 5 times once I was solid on the weight that I felt comfortable at. Yes I had a couple people stare at me when I was figuring out the seat and adjusting the weights. I tried my best to ignore them. I got up and moved on to the leg press. I adjusted the seat to make sure my knees were at a 90 degree angle when I placed them against the plate. I was comfortable and getting ready to do the same thing that I did on the other machine. Well, I wasn't planning but, a guy walked up sat on the machine right next to me which made it real awkward.

The machine was sideways so when you were sitting on it you stare directly at the machine beside it if you just look forward. I adjusted my weights and kept checking if it was to light. Then, He looked at me and stared. He was literally 2 feet away from me and staring at me full on looking at me in the eyes. I just felt so awkward. I wondered what he was staring at. I mean for a new person in a gym it was just so intimidating because he wasn't even saying anything or using the machine he was on. He was just sitting there.... staring. You might have thought I would have said something but I did not. I was worried about doing some reps on the machine to feel more comfortable with it then moving on. I sat back and continued to adjust my weight and go on merry way. I did 5 reps 5 times. Woo Objective 2 complete!

I had completed what I set out to do. I had not let people get in my way and my lesser knowledge. I made sure to set my objectives to something I felt I could achieve for one day. I learned how to turn on the cardio machines and adjust speeds. I also learned 2 of the multitude of weight machines available. I plan on learning 2 more machines every couple days that I go to the gym. This is because it gives times for my muscles to rest and be ready to go for the next machine I am learning. I don't want to feel tired using a new machine because I could possibly hurt myself if I do. I know you may feel out of place at a new gym but make the most out of it. Also, observe if you are not sure what to do and read all signs on machines. If you absolutely can't figure out a machine then, ask an employee if they can help you. I am sure the majority of them they are more than willing. It may be tough and hard. You may feel like you are the only one but, remember everyone you see started somewhere. They didn't just wake up one morning having muscle or look the way they look. So stick to it and you will be one of them soon.

Credits:  All photos credits go directly to their rightful photographers. I did not take these photos nor do I own them.

The Journey Begins...

This is the first time writing in this blog and I hoping not my last. This is a strange journey but lately I had the urge to write about my fitness journey, cool stuff I find, and the other random stuff here and there. So here we go and here we begin. Where it will take us no one will know. I ask that you invite your friends, your family, and the random people on the side to join us in this weird world. I will be posting reviews, cool fitness items, and maybe even some recipes you never know. Just comes right back here. ^_^