Where have I been?

Tick Tock Tick Tock. I haven't wrote in ages. Oh dear, oh my. I know some have been wondering if I just gave up on writing. If maybe I just didn't care anymore. I didn't stop caring about my health. I just gave up for a short time because I was feeling really sick. I ended up catching a cold then feeling better two days only to catch another cold followed by possible food poisoning or another illness. I am not positive that it was food poisoning at the time and I am still not sure. I never got this sick over and over like this in the past. I am used to only getting one cold per year then it being over. That didn't happen this year.  I also found out recently that some of my favorite foods now make me feel ill. My all-time favorite cheese cover bread sticks were now giving me stomach pains. I use to devour three of them at a time and they are very large. Now I can't even eat half of one without the pains happening to me.

It just goes to show how bad I have let myself slip up. This made me come to the realization of the stress I am putting on my body with my weight and diet. My body is screaming to me. It telling me over and over " HELP US! WE ARE HURTING!". It has kept doing stuff that I knew was a sign but I ignored and kept up my bad habits. Now, I am to the point it is getting hard to function day to day. So, it was a smack to the face when I ate a small unhealthy snack and instantly felt stomach pains. I felt horrible and knew I had to change. I knew that this couldn't go on any longer. It was just to much for me to handle anymore.

I have decided to jump back on the train as soon as possible. I do not care if I am still "tired". I must change this! I can not take getting sick on the daily and the feeling of dreading getting out of the bed. It shouldn't have to be this way. I want to wake up jumping out of  the bed and being excited to start the day. I use to have this feeling but then over time it changed. In the past, I was the type of person who would wake up early and clean to my hearts content then game for a little bit. I would just love the day a bit more if I was back this way. As of lately, I just want to sleep or watch TV. This is even though I know I need to do more. I know it is going to be hard to change but trust me I am going to try. After many years of emotional eating and nothing but junk and fast food I become quite attached to my "favorites". I don't know how I will break free from the grip of their deliciousness but I will find a way somehow. I know it because I have to.

As I am writing this blog post for you all, I have already changed my ways just a little. I admit it I went and got fast food. I went to burger king. I did however not reach for my usual but, instead for the beauty you see on the side. I saw it on this on the salads and more section and because I was still craving my fast food but want to be healthier option. I took a baby step. It is a veggie burger they offer. It is a meatless burger made with veggies in it. When I tried it I would bite and get chunk of different stuff but it was really really good in my opinion. It is just a different texture from usual.

It was something new for me to try all together. Usually, I would sit and just order my normal eat it all and go for a microwave pizza too. This time I did not do that. I ate the burger and the veggies filled me up. When I was done I ended up stuffed full. The way I see it no matter how small the step you take it is still a step.  Just don't give up on yourself if you feel like your step is not big enough because even a small one is good one. I do not know where I am going from here but I am going to slowly make changes and see what happens. The key thing is I am going to try. I definitely want to change all of these things occurring to me and I am hoping I don't fall ill again before I get the chance for this. Good luck on your journey because I will be right there beside you fighting my battle too.

Credits:  All photos credits go directly to their rightful photographers. I did not take these photos nor do I own them.